Pretoria
We took a very crowded and very hot taxi to Pretoria for the first leg of our trip. We were all so ridiculously excited that the taxi slipping out of gear as it went up hills and the fact that it took two people to open the door (one to push in to keep it on it's hinges and one to push forward to get it to close) didn't even phase us. There could have been a man weilding a gun, waving it in the air for the entire 6 hour trip and we would have been totally fine with it. After that and the very confusing taxi ride from the Pretoria taxi rank to the backpackers we all went out for Sushi and a movie to mark the beginning of our trip. Casandra, Kevin, Tony, and Andy saw 2012 (BAD decision) while Lauren and I opted for New Moon. Before you judge me for seeing New Moon let me say that I'm WELL aware of the super lameness surrounding the Twilight series of movies and books. There were multiple occasions where Lauren and I laughed out loud and physically cringed at the dialogue - unfortunately this did not stop this experience form sparking an unfortunate Twilight obsession that would span the entirety of our vacation (more on that later). The next day we headed to the mall to kill time before catching our bus to Durban. The guys went and did something I don't remember while the girls got pedicures and bought ridiculous vacation outfits that included bright pink glasses and and lime green fedoras. After our mall trip we headed off to Pretoria Station to catch our bus. There were about 600 people waiting in an unorganized angry mass to get on one of three overnight buses leaving for Durban that night. Not wanting to miss one of these three buses we joined the angry mass and pushed our way forward in enough time to see an extremely drunk guy steal the bus drivers clip board, run around with three cops chasing him and smash a bottle at their feet AND make the second bus. SUCCESS! We also had the pleasure of sitting in front of 3 drunk guys screaming "what the fock man! where's the aircon! Why don't you turn on the aircon in this focking bus" for two hours. And then we tried to sleep...
Super Vacation Excitement + Super Vacation Outfits = Super Vacation Picture AwesomenessWarner Beach - Irie Lodge
We arrived in Durban the next morning and took a taxi about 30 minutes down the south coast to Warner Beach and the Irie Lodge. The Irie Lodge was AWESOME. We basically got our own apartment with our own bathroom and kitchen for the 6 of us, all for about $11/person/night. The place was quiet and relaxing and had a giant deck with an ocean view and a property manager named Tobias that helped us with anything we needed. Warner Beach is not exactly a hot spot for night life so we spent our days lounging on the beach (where we all got our first vacation sunburn) or the pool and were able to locate a sufficiently safe but still skeezy bar to spend one night hanging out.
Making Dinner at the Irie LodgeThe Mantis and Moon - Umzumbe
Our next stop was the Mantis and Moon in Umzumbe. The Mantis and Moon was different from the Irie Lodge in almost every way. It is located in a super tropical area that felt like you were in the jungle - complete with monkeys and birds all over the place. It was also set up in way that you never had to leave if you didn't want to. There was a pool, a hot tub, a bar, a rooftop lounge area with views of the ocean, a kitchen area, game and movie area, a massage area, startegically placed hammocks throughout, AND and they prepared cheap meals on site if you didn't feel like cooking for yourself. It also worked on a tab system so you didn't pay for anything until you were ready to leave (which was good and bad for obvious reasons). They had private rooms on stilts, teepees, and traditional droms as far as accomodations go. Unfortunately our Peace Corps salaries relegated us to dorm lodging - which turned out to be a little hot and musty since it rained for a large portion of our stay. We spent Christmas eve day taking surf lessons with a wonderfully strange instructor named Rooster and had tacos with homemade tortillas compliments of Casandra and Kevin for dinner. Christmas morning started with homemade biscuits and "janke gravey" (named so because we had to use ground beef and substitute some other non-traditional ingredients) - this is what my mom makes on Christmas morning (minus the "janke-ness") because it's my personal fave so I felt obligated to keep the tradition going from the other side of the world. Since it was raining we spent most of Christmas day alternating between watching movies and the bar. Boxing Day was spent with our friendly surf instructor, Rooster, on a sunset barge ride down the Uzumkulu river. In total I think we made it about 2 kilometers (tops) from the dock as Rooster seemed to be preoccupied with finishing his beer, playing his guitar, and telling us ghost stories about the "house on the hill." Fortunately, between enjoying our own beers, the prawns and chips, and eachother's company, no one really seemed to care. :) We also had the pleasure of meeting a 60 year old woman named Susannah that tried to convince Tony to drive the get-away car in a bank robbery she and another guy had planned. She promised that it was "totally fail-proof," and they'd all be rich. Tony is currently weighing his options...figuring out if the possibility of getting caught(which is probably slim because people get away with bank robberies all the time, right?) is worth the potential pay out. Other places we enjoyed in Umzumbe included the Rock Bottom Pub, which had great food and ALSO let us come back and pay our tab "whenever we got a chance" once we realized they didn't take cards.
Janke Gravy Christmas Dinner at Mantis and MoonAntstey's Backpackers - Durban
Our last and longest stop of the trip was Anstey's in Durban. It was right across from the beach and run by a former professional surfer and his now professional son - Rudy and Rudy Jr. The man in charge of the day to day running was a 4 foot 9 inch man with a bleach blond ponytail, named Dean. Turns out Dean is a former figure skater and circus performer. He seemed to operate only on one setting - MANIC! Within his manic setting he had "happy/helpful" and "stressed out/hyperventilation" sub-settings. His "happy/helpful" sub-setting made him a super accomodating and helpful person - he drew us detailed maps, arranged rides for us, and I even saw him soaking one girls infected toes and arranging a ride to the hospital for her because he was so worried! Unfortunately his "stressed out/hyperventilation" sub-setting left him a crying puddle of mush unable to perform the easiest of functions, such as handing us a movie from the movie library. I'm assuming his manic setting resulted from some substance abuse and on one of our last days there he seemed to reach his breaking point and fled the backpackers in tears with a wad of cash from the register. Dean was just one of the crazy/interesting characters we met at Anstey's. Because we stayed at Antsey's so long we came to be pretty good friends with a lot of the people we met there. After a day or two they were like old friends and we gathered in the area next to the pool after whatever we decided to do that day. There was Dine, our Afrikaaner friend and fellow Twilight addict (like I said, I'll explain later). Nick, our snarky British friend who treated Lauren and I to what was probably the most awkwardly, awesome night out of the whole vacation at the creepiest Afrikaaner bar ever. Micah, our beautiful and sweet dorm mate for the first few nights from the Netherlands who had infected toes and a resulting fever and STILL partied with us by the pool (don't worry, she finally went to the doctor and got an antibiotic). Casandra, the super-nice local we met at a bar that agreed to escort us to a club within 10 minutes of meeting. The Swedish girls, Emily and Anna, that also live in villages and face the same ups and downs as we do. Dumi, the other "man in charge" that took care of the place after Dean dissapeared. Rudy Jr., who happily took 10am Jager Bombs with us in mourning of our last day in Durban. Bruce, the hot, older lifeguard and "voice" of Anstey's beach that made sure we were applying sunscreen and babysat our sunglasses when we went into the water. And, of course!, the Peace Corps Lesotho girls! One of whom, unhappy with the job given to her by Peace Corps, early terminated her service and took the job left vacant by Dean! There's a very big chance we'll never see or hear from any of these people again but wherever they are I hope they're happy and well. :)
Besides making friends with all of these awesome people we spent our days at the beach, took a trip to the botanical gardens and the Victoria Street market, attempted surfing again, had a 15 hour mall day (because when are we gonna get to go to a mall again), met up with our fellow SA20 volunteers, Kate and Zita, and had a great Thai dinner and a night out, and attended a New Year's eve party with everyone at the backpackers that ended up being at what seemed like a VFW full of families and old people. That last one took us by surprise a little but we made the most of it and ended up having a great New Year's eve. Highlights included Afrikaaner polka music, dance contests, international drunk dialing, Tony almost blowing up a lady with a firecracker, and hugging lots of people I barely knew but was very happy to ring in the New Year with.
Pretoria...again
After Ansteys we headed back to Pretoria on our way home. Of course that was AFTER we realized that we'd missed our first bus because we ALL misread our tickets and thought we left one day after we were supposed to. This was just the beginning of the worst transportation experience I've ever had - the most crowded village taxi can't compare. To save time I'll just say it included NO refund, a twice delayed second bus that turned into an overnight ride, getting dropped off somewhere far from our intended stop, a two hour wait outside in the cold for a shuttle to take us to our intended stop, an angry bus driver that tried to kick us off the shuttle (even though we'd been waiting longer than anyone else) because all the seats were filled and we were forced to stand, and an intense screaming match with said bus driver. We finally arrived in Pretoria the next morning at 7am where we went back to our favorite backpackers only to find that they were CLOSED! Yes CLOSED! As in closed down...for good. Why they took our reservation and said "ok, see you soon," I don't know but they agreed to let us stay the one night we needed and then we went back to the mall movie theatre and all fell asleep while watching Sherlock Holmes - which seemed like an ok movie from what I could tell when waking up from my nap intervals.
I think that pretty much covers everything, EXCEPT, my promised explanation of the Twilight obsession.
Let me preface this by saying that I think I have at least decent taste in movies and books. I think I can, at the very least, discern the difference between good writing and absolute crap. That being said - I KNOW the Twilight books and movies are crap. I always knew this. I didn't need to read them to know this. But I did.
Like I said, It all began in Pretoria.
Lauren and I had watched the first Twilight movie because someone had it on their hard drive from home and it eventually made it to ours and being bored 75% of the day opens the door to bad movie-watching decisions. Of course it was silly and ridiculous (although not quite as bad as I expected).
While in Pretoria Lauren and I decided to go see New Moon because we had to see what would happen next, right? As I've already said, it was also really ridiculous. But by that time it was too late...we were invested in the characters and our brains were boggled by the silly dialogue and insane story-lines. It was at that moment that we decided to start reading the books. The plan was that Lauren would read the first and then pass it to me and buy the second and so on and so on until we were finished. I estimate this to be about 2100 pages of text, with the last book in the series being a monstrous 700 pages and comparable to the weight of a brick. We both finished them all in less than 3 weeks.
Why did we do it? I can't really give you a good answer. It was part just wanting to find out what would happen next and part wanting to find out how far the author would go in making the main character, Bella, seem like a helpless idiot. Bella is 100% the most horrible female role model I've ever seen in a movie or read. She can't do anything without f-ing it up and she's completely dependent on the two male characters to save her from every bad situation she gets herself into. She can't even walk down a hall without tripping over her own two feet. She completely alters her life because she's "so in love" with Edward that she can't function without him. There's no way in hell I would ever let my adolescent daughter read these books, not only for this reason, but also because of the way that she and Edward interact with eachother...young girls reading these books probably develop some twisted since of what it's like to be in a relationship and expect to find some Edward-esque boyfriend that will "love them for all eternity" and save them from every bad thing that ever happens.
At the very least, we did get some great vacation comedy out of reading the Twilight books - there were many references to being "Unequivocably and Irrevocably" in love with eachother and we decided to write an addition to the series that details the story of Edwards vampire-cousin from Jersey, Edgar, and his true love, Beulah. Tony will play Edgar in the movie version...for obvious reasons.
Twilight Fun*By the way, I stole half of these pictures from Casandra and Kevin without their permission. Thanks!!
